You Are What You Do (or are you?)

Recently, a friend of mine penned a blog entry discussing how often a man’s work “establishes a fundamental part of his self-identity.” He was able to state that his vocation, while mostly pleasant and reasonable, was more of a means to an end than a personally defining activity.

For some reason, I fall in a very different camp. It may have a lot to do with personality, it may be connected to the type of job I have, or it may just be a subconscious choice I have made; but my identity is derived at least somewhat to what I do. This may not be a good thing… In fact I’m pretty sure that left unbridled, this is a definite negative, but I want to explore it a little and since this is my blog – I can!

Let me start off by saying that I love what I do. Some people get Sunday evening blues because they have to wake up early on Monday and head in to the office. While I love my weekends at home with the family, I’m usually pretty pumped up about heading back to work, kinda like a QB might be excited to get back to practice after taking a post-gameday break. (not that I’m QB material – maybe a better analogy would be an offensive linesman… anywhoo…)

I haven’t always been this way. It depends a lot on what vocation I am in. When I worked for SunTrust, I definitely got the Sunday night blues. In fact, I’m pretty sure that by the time I got home Friday evening, I was already dreading going back to work the next week. The highlight of my time there was the day I got a window cubicle so I could actually see the outside world while sitting and watching the clock slowly tick minute by minute. Once, I even got to see President Clinton’s motorcade go by – what a rush!!! So I think the fact that the work is challenging and rewarding makes it more a part of myself, a personally fulfilling endeavor.

After a couple of years at PIA, I began to worry that the job could make me too materialistic. After all, in an industry that rises and falls on how much money you make, its easy to think that money is all that matters. Furthermore, seeing all the Porsches, Maseratis, and Lexuses (or would that be Lexusi?) in the parking lot, one can tell that this is a trap many fall into.

While I’m not claiming to be immune from being tempted by materialism, I can definitely say my love for what I do is not just about the money. When I drive past the big green billboard that says how many hundreds of millions of dollars the next lottery winner will take home, I can honestly say that if I won the lottery, I would be genuinely disappointed. Most people will think that I am trying to be cavalier, but honestly, what a robbery!!! This type of winning would totally take away the satisfaction of working hard and enjoying the benefits of that labor.

There’s also the competitiveness that runs in my family. I remember my Mother asking us boys why it always has to be “blood and guts and kill” when we played outside together. Even now a friendly game of basketball in the driveway usually ends up causing at least a bloody nose, black eye or sprained ankle. We’re not trying to hurt each other, we just really enjoy going “full on” to try to accomplish the objective (in this case putting a rubber ball into a iron cylinder). The same is true at work. I want to outperform the market, my boss, the guy down the hall, and the gurus in New York who went to Princeton, Yale and Harvard.

This love for what I do is not always completely healthy, however. I’m pretty sure that waking up at 4:30 AM wondering whether a new high in my favorite stock is confirmed by a new high in the Relative Strength line is a sign of an unbalanced psyche. It takes a lot of hard work to consistently beat the market – and even more hard work to beat the Ivy Leaguers (well actually sometimes they don’t even beat the market). I’m not willing to completely sell my soul to the markets so that probably means I will sacrifice some returns for not reading every research report that comes across my desk.

I guess the bottom line for me right now ties back to Colossians 3:23: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” If my vocation is worth doing, it’s worth doing right! It’s worth putting genuine effort into it. It’s worth being excellent – but not for my fame or my satisfaction – but for the Lord. The same is true for everything else I put my hand to. It’s worth it to be the best dad I can be – to honor the Lord – not just for my kids. To be the best husband I can be – this pleases my God – and my wife. It’s even ok to play ball with all my heart – just watch those elbows!

I can operate with the throttle wide open. I can work hard and work smart. I can enjoy the labor and the rewards. But all of it should be filtered through the context of pleasing the Lord who gave me this drive in the first place.